There are a few living things that I don’t like (including some human beings). But today, I have signed the Declaration of Sworn Enmity with the Pigeons. I’ve been noticing you pigeons. I’ve been noticing you for years. For 26 years to be precise. Pigeons in the city are flying rats. Ughhh. The mere thought of you creatures drives me crazy.
You are not welcome here, your second name is inconvenience. And how the hell have you increased in numbers? Call me heartless, but you guys need to fly far away to the land of no return. All you do is eat stuff on ground, shit on people, and settle on building ledges in balconies and air-conditioner stands. Your cooing is irritating and fluttering your dirty wings against the window in the morning is unpleasant to wake up to. Stop storing dead rat flesh outside my window ledge. For heaven’s sake stop shitting. Go see a doctor pigeon for your case of never ending diarrhea. Oh my bad, there are no doctor pigeons, all pigeons are dumb.
What’s that? We humans built a city where you lived before? Lies. This was a desert long ago. There were no trees. At least now we have some trees, yet you refuse to live there, you find the buildings attractive. You lay eggs, you breed and multiply like rats, you build nests and some of you even die. Aaaaargh, the stink it creates through the AC vent when you die and rot. The window is not your lavatory. Wear diapers. I want to end you all. Go away. Get lost. Why can’t you learn from the other birds? Crows and sparrows don’t even come near. Stop infesting the building with your droppings and rotten food.
Your ancestors were loved and used in wars because you were communicators, carriers of messages. But your current generation is lazy. You are of no use. Only hindrance. Go away.
For all of those human pigeon lovers out there, you have to know a few things. Pigeon droppings are disease ridden. They are polluting the water with their droppings. Sometimes the water stored in tanks in building. Pigeon droppings attract maggots and they find a way into the house. Major cause of dust allergy. The feathers gut stuck on AC filters. They feed on vegetables and fruits in gardens. And you know what? They are selfish. Selfish to the core. Learn more about this here.
I have tolerated you birds for a certain period. In the beginning I was like, “oh you poor creatures”. But lately you have been misusing your rights. You can’t invade all open spaces in the building. Go settle in the parks, sit on a date tree maybe. Go before I take drastic steps.